this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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