i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
