im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize