I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
