Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
