Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
