guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
two words...techno handjob
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize