i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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