Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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