Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
