In America we eat man semen.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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