Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
