if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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