When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
