sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize