you have to choose: penises or morals?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
ok first of all what the fuck
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
