just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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