it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
