I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
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