mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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