just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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