i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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