mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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