dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
