I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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