Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
