nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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