so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize