weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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