nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
