We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
this will be a night to untag.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize