If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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