whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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