she was so not down for the gang bang
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
