Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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