Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
