My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
