when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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