remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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