Buhtt sex?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
