dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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