i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
