loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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