You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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