is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
