i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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