Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
