It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
