I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
