Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
