Sry I called you an 8
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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