whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
