a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
