K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
