I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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