Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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