Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
