If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
