I'm going to jail i love you
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
