did you get engaged???
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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