No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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