Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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