it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
