let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
