College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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