She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
