the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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