i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize