hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
