Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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