just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
