Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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