i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
