ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
