What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Someone shit on the floor
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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