So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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