you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
